Bad Technique

A love song to my Crossfit friends and family. To "Bad Romance" by Lady Ga Ga. Inspired by those Crossfit peeps who get acquire "workout brain" once they walk through the gym door.

Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique

Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix your bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix your bad technique


Your lifts are ugly

Got Crossfit disease

I’ll fix your everything

But it won’t be free


I’ll fix your lifts

Lifts lifts lifts

Your ugly lifts


No time for drama

No hero workouts

It’s back to basics

Work it from the top down


I’ll fix your lifts

Lifts lifts lifts

Your ugly lifts


You know that you want to

And you know that you need to

To fix that bad, bad technique


I’ll fix your lifts and I’ll get some revenge

For the bastards teaching bad technique

You want to clean and you want to snatch

But it takes a little more than that


Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique

Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix that bad technique


It’s such a horror

Oh there’s no design

It’s almost criminal

You need to refine


Your ugly lifts

Lifts lifts lifts

Those ugly lifts


Your movement’s psycho

With PVC stick

Then with a barbell

It gets really sick


Let’s fix your lifts

Lifts lifts lifts

Your ugly lifts


You know that you want to

And you know that you need to

(Cuz those are freak lifts baby)

To fix that bad, bad technique


I’ll fix your lifts and I’ll get some revenge

For the bastards teaching bad technique

You want to clean and you want to snatch

But it takes a little more than that


Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique

Oh oh oh ohhhh oh oh oh

Caught with bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix your bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix your bad technique


High block, low block baby

Work it, work position, baby


Pockets, mid-thigh baby

Work it to below knee, baby


High block, low block baby

Work it

Work position, baby


Pockets, mid-thigh baby

Work it to below knee, baby


I’ll fix your lifts

And I’ll get some revenge

I’ll fix your lifts

Make the barbell your friend


(Just sing the French here)


Make the barbell your friend

Make the barbell your friend

(Caught with bad technique)

Make the barbell your friend

(Caught with bad technique)

Fix your bad technique


I’ll fix your technique!


I’ll fix your lifts and I’ll get some revenge

For the bastards teaching bad technique

You want to clean and then you want to snatch

But it takes a little more than that


Fix your bad technique

Caught with bad technique

Fix your bad technique

Fix your bad technique

Caught with bad technique


Rah Rah ah ah ah

Roma Ro ma ma ah

Ga Ga oh la la

Fix your bad technique

Comments

Dr. Jared said…
That's awesome. Especially "Your lifts are ugly Got Crossfit disease I’ll fix your everything But it won’t be free." Loved it.
3:40 PM
Aimee said…
I absolutely forgot how much I miss and love you.
10:56 AM
Amie said…
That is genius and completely awesome all at the same time. My favorite part, "You want to clean and you want to snatch, But it takes a little more than that." - so funny!
4:55 PM
Kimberly Wilkes said…
Truly a labor of love. Please ditch those Valley Parkers and move to Sunny St. Charles! I'll have a chat with Dan, he won't mind ;-)
9:00 PM
Kathy said…
All you need is a picture of yourself with one of those freaky outfits on.. :)
5:32 PM
Christine said…
Genius!
12:09 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Form and Function

Image
Way back in 2002, I scanned these images by Howard Schatz from Sports Illustrated (October 14, 2002). A fascinating array of elite female athlete physiques, heights and weights, eh? These are some of the women featured in his book Athlete --a very cool pictorial essay that celebrates athletic form and function.
Read more

It's About Preparing People, not Preventing Injuries

ACL injuries do not happen in a void. People sustain injuries when their infrastructure is unable to manage a specific set of physical circumstances. To describe the mechanism of the injury without the context of the person and their level/type of sport, is to miss valuable insight. In sport, we prepare the person, to the best of our understanding, to meet the physical demands of that sport. We do not just work to prevent one particular injury; we prepare athletes to navigate the total sport physical environment. By "we" I mean the coaching and support staff -- specifically the athletic development staff.  Athletic development (AD) coaches prepare athletes through the development of physical literacy and movement competencies via movement progressions. It is more than strength, power, agility; it is the acquisition of knowledge, skills, abilities and behaviors to manage themselves within the entire sporting environment. At the higher levels of sport, AD coaches coordinate wit...
Read more

Strength: Overcoming Tradition & Assumptions

Image
The term "strength" comes with many images and stereotypes. The most common stereotype usually includes intimidating men who look like action figures, in spaces that look like iron jungles. Strength is associated with mass gain, limb girth increases, muscle hypertrophy and maximal force production against an external load. With regard to lower body strength, we speak in terms of multiples of bodyweight (BW), with the ratio of 2x BW historically viewed as necessary and desirable. We have historically trained in terms of 1 RM. There has been a trend recently to adopt a VBT (velocity based training) approach, as we know 1 RM changes on a daily basis and technology now allows us to more finely tune things with velocity as the target within each set. These things can be helpful as we initially learn to measure and document progress. But I think it is important to step back from this narrow outlook, because this view of strength does not serve all of us well, in either the rehab or...
Read more